BittyBooHoo

I was sitting, practicing guitar, the mangled notes flowing through my fingers blah blah blah when I suddenly realized something. I wanted to write another blog post. It's been two days since my last so I have no idea whats come over me. Usually these writing cravings only come once every couple months so this is very strange but whatever. Indulge me. I'm just going to write a whole bunch of random chatter. Try and explain the voices in my head.

A couple months ago I made up these three characters, or uh, voices that were in my head. Katie, the sweet and adorable helpful peacemaker, etc, everything pleasant and nice about me. Bridget, the awful, who often plans to murder people and is what makes me look so frightening when I'm holding a knife. She gets jealous when I show more attention to other people than her or something. She's often after Justin's blood apparently. And last, and certainly least there is Fred, the witty and charming. He hardly ever makes an appearance. In fact Bridget is the most common character to pop up mostly cause I hold knives a lot... or something.

I'm an odd child.. what can I say?

I don't like living with a perpetual headache (omg i like totally spelled perpetual right?!??!) and I just spent about five minutes untangling my earbud cords. Seriously why is it that you can carefully wrap up and put away your earbuds and get them out five minutes later and they are completely tangled? What have we done to deserve such torture?

So today, my sister went to New Hampshire to look at colleges. She must not go to college next year. I will miss her far to much. Therefore, I've decided to come up with a plan to make her stay with me forever. Bwahahaha. So any ideas? Anyone? No?

*sigh*

Why is it.. that people love food, yet hate what it does to their body. Why can't people enjoy food and have the respect for themselves to not hate how they look? I don't understand. I'm saying this to myself just as much as stating it. I can't deny that I'm not one hundred percent ok with how I look and I often complain to Justin about it but that doesn't make me stop wondering why we human put ourselves through things that we do. Tis silly.

Ah yeah, Cloud Cult = my heart.
Well no, Justin has my heart so.. yeah
Well, Justin loves cloud cult, and if cloud cult is my heart and he has it.. then actually it works.
So glad we got that cleared up.

Now for a song that is NOT by Cloud Cult.

Rooftops - Lostprophets

When our time is up
When our lives are done
Will we say, we've had our fun

Will we make a mark this time
Will we always say we tried

We're standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out
Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out

Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out
This is all we got now
Everybody scream your heart out

All the love I've met
I have no regrets
If it all ends now, I'm set

Will we make a mark this time
Will we always say we tried

We're standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out
Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out

Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out
This is all we got now
Everybody scream your heart out

Standing on the rooftops
Wait until the bombs drop
This is all we got now
Scream until your heart stops

Never gonna regret
Watching every sunset
We'll, listen to your heartbeat
All the love that we found

Standing on the rooftops
Wait until the bombs drop
This is all we got now
Scream until your heart stops

Never gonna regret
Watching every sunset
We'll, listen to your heartbeat
All the love that we found

Scream your heart out
Scream your heart out
Scream your heart out
Scream your

Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out
Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out

Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out
This is all we got now
Everybody scream your

OMGJSYKILYBTW

I randomly come on here and read all my old posts and remember what an odd person I am. It's really quite amusing. I giggle at my extreme wit and charm, wonder what the HELL I was thinking in writing THAT on here, and gag at things that used to make me happy which are now just dark embarrassment splotches in my past *cough*James*cough*
I think about all the people who were in my life back then who aren't now. Some of them I could care less about. Others? Not so much.
I miss you and I wish we were still friends. =( It's sucks that all our plans have been written over and erased by our now busy lives.

Blargh

Anywho, Life other then all that has been wonderful. If not cold =\

This summer has passed like a FLASH. Like, Whoa where did it go? Like seriously dude?? O_O It rained till mid July, and got fall weather the last week of August. Seriously. God? Anything thoughts on that?

Uhhhh

I suck at blogging.

So, I have someone to talk about. Someone Incredible. Someone I love very much.

But I'm not going too cause no one reads this and I'm just talking to myself which is kind of weird if you think about cause I already know everything I'm writing. I'm just repeating myself online. Yipee.

Uhhhh

I should be doing school.

OH I GOT A NEW JOB!! At a cafe. So very sophisticated, oh yes. A HUGE step up from cleaning cheap cabins all summer, which I wouldn't recommend to anyone unless its a high class five star hotel where lots of rich people come. Then it would be okay. Except rich poo in a toilet is still poo in a toilet. So... Maybe not.

When I was thinking of things to say while cleaning my room I was so very deep and thoughtful and it was going to be such an epic post. Now its like... random chatter that goes through my head. So I'm going to end with a song, like I always do, and go do geometry.

Cheerio none existent readers, I love you all so very much, expect another post from me in about a year!!

Illusion - VNV Nation

I know its hard to tell
How mixed up you feel
Hoping what you need
Is behind every door
Each time you get hurt
I don't want you to change
Cuz everyone has hopes
You're human after all

The feeling sometimes
Wishing you were someone else
Feeling as though
You never belong
This feeling is not sadness
This feeling is not joy
I truly understand
Please don't cry now

Please don't go
I want you to stay
I'm begging you please
Please don't leave here
I don't want you to hate
For all the hurt that you feel
The world is just illusion
Trying to change you

Being like you are
Well this is something else
Who would comprehend
That some bad do lay claim
Divine purpose blesses them
Thats not what I believe
And it doesn't matter anyway

A part of your soul
Ties you to the next world
Or maybe to the last
But I'm still not sure
But what I do know
Is to us the world is different
As we are to the world
I guess you would know that

Please don't go
I want you to stay
I'm begging you please
Please don't leave here
I don't want you to hate
For all the hurt that you feel
The world is just illusion
Trying to change you

Please don't go }(2x)
I want you to stay
I'm begging you please
Oh please don't leave here
I don't want you to change
For all the hurt that you feel
This world is just illusion
Always trying to change you

Huh

So I haven't posted on here in forever.

It's kind of pointless cause I don't think anyone reads this anyways.

My last post was really depressing.... things are much better now!!

I swear!!

Yeah I'm not writing any more now

New Year

Wow its February.

quick update on how this year has been.

I'm exhausted.
I found out my ex boyfriend cheated on me.
I had my first visit to the ER.
My mom as in a minor car accident.
My parents are talking about moving.
I haven't done a full days of school work since november.

Yeah so its been going great =D

Creativty yes?

Remember back in march when I said I was going to write a story? Yeah well that never happened. it is possible I might actually write that story now.. if I can manage to stay motivated. Heres a clipping:

A cold wind blew whistling slighting; almost the only sound in the dark of the night. Mist from the river rose and drifted into the abandoned warehouse that sat a little ways off from the waters edge. Something dripped. The cold plink plink adding life to the otherwise dead building. Grunge and mold covered the walls that were barely standing. Old rust covered beams no longer held the roof up in one side of the warehouse, but lay on the ground useless.

It was a forgotten and lonely place. Fallen to decay in the hands of time; no longer wanted by society. An outcast. A perfect hiding place Logan thought. He nodded to Lienna who was crouching behind him. She rose and carefully entered the warehouse, pausing to see if the whole thing would collapse on her head.

When she remained alive and uncrushed moments later she continued in and hopped onto a stack of crates that all leaned slightly to the left. They groaned a leaned a little more towards the wall; the sound breaking the silence.

"Why is it?" Lienna said balancing on one foot and surveying her surroundings. "That you always find the most dismal places to sleep in?" she turned and raised a questioning eyebrow at Logan.

He rolled his eyes. "Because the last time you picked a place to sleep we were attacked by Snatchers within minutes" he muttered as he rose from where he had been crouching outside the warehouse door and entered the building. He paused as Lienna had done, but unlike her, he turned and looked out the way they'd come. The river was quiet as was the night. There was no sign of life, no flicker of doubt that they were alone, no one had followed the,. They would be safe that night, Logan was sure of it.

"Really" Lienna continued ignoring what he'd said completely. He glanced at her and watched as she turned away and picked at something growing on the wall. "It's astounding how gross this place is" She jumped off the crate she was standing on and landed lightly in front of Logan. She straightened and looked up at him waiting for an answer to her question. He smiled slightly down at her and moved past her walking to the center of the building. He looked around taking in the damp and dirty decaying walls and large support beams that held the remaining pieces of roof up.

"And oh God did I mention the smell?" Lienna called after him. She wasn't going to let it go until she got an answer Logan know so he sighed as if he were actually annoyed and walked back to where she was standing, waiting with hands on hips and a disapproving glare on her face. He put his hands on her shoulders and leaned in close speaking with exaggerated slowness and clarity.

"Are you trying to tell me," he said narrowing his eyes "that you're getting tired of your job?" her eyes widened in mock disbelief as he continued "That you'd like to return to base and sleep in a big bed with fluffy pillows and a pile of warm blankets? That you'd like to leave me on my own, to do the work of two by myself?" He faked a look of horror which was mirrored in Lienna's face.

"Logan" She said breathless "as amazing as a bed sounds at the moment, I would never leave you. You'd die within minutes" She paused and smiled. "and I really can't have your death blamed on me. Wouldn't look good on my record" She patted his cheek and shrugged his hands off her shoulders as she stepped around him. Logan smiled and rolled his eyes again. He was used to the meaningless banter they often found themselves in the middle of.

"I wouldn't die within minutes" he started to argue but stopped when Lienna turned and gave him a look. "O.k." he said and threw up his hands. "But I would last an hour at least."

Lienna shook her head and climbed back up onto the stack of crates. "Maybe, but I doubt it" she said lightly as she sat down, taking off the large pack she had been carrying. "No worries Logan, mold and falling apart buildings are a normal part of my life. I've gotten used to them in the last four years" She grinned slightly and lay down, her head resting on her pack.

"I wasn't worried" Logan replied taking off his own pack and settling on the floor below Lienna. "You'd go crazy if you spent more then a day at base, you know you would."

"Mmmmhm" was the only answer he got. He didn't care though. Lienna liked to complain when she was in a mood but she didn't mean anything she said. She loved being on hunt even if it meant sleeping in abandoned warehouses and the chances of the two of them dying at any moment was a very real reality. The constant danger and dirt were what made life exciting she had said once when coming out of a similar mood, and she would never give that up. Not even for a fluffy pillow and a pile of blankets.

The Rose

"I'm also in very much like with a Boy named James who makes me very happy and who I make very happy. We are embarking out together on a journey to see where God takes us, and if it is his will that we should be together for years to come."

Here's to two months and twenty-six days of happiness and fun times. James and I mutually broke up two weeks ago.. it just wasn't working out anymore. Long distance relationships are not fun, especially when only one person is making the effort. I'm fine now, enjoying being single, and getting used to dealing with guys again. I miss him though, but that will fade with time.



The Rose - Bette Midler

Some say love it is a river
that drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razor
that leaves your soul to bleed

Some say love it is a hunger
an endless aching need
I say love it is a flower
and you it's only seed

It's the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
that never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
who cannot seem to give
and the soul afraid of dying
that never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
and the road has been too long
and you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
far beneath the bitter snows
lies the seed
that with the sun's love
in the spring
becomes the rose

Somebody Save Me

I wish I could dance
Like the wind
Flowing
Leaping
Laughing
Loving

So... yeah don't ask because I don't know. My goal of updating once a month has failed.. obviously. Um, yesterday was my half birthday and I thought about posting a whole thing on how the last 6 months have gone, but I decided not to cause I'm lazy as hell.

Actually, I blame it on Chuck.

I love Chuck.

I discovered something on monday.
I am not cut out to play Limbo.
I think the table and wall suffered much less damage then I did.
I keep discovering new bruises.. its quite amazing.

Kelia and Sarah (not my sister) are on the bed discussing the forecast for snow. YES! SNOW! Its freakin OCTOBER. There is not supposed to be SNOW!! AHH!!! The people who ski are quite happy though, so all the joy to them, I think I'll just cuddle up inside in a blanket with a book and some hot chocolate and pretend that its not happening. Snow, October, No.

Mmm I have to choreograph a dance. I'm not sure if I'm happy about this, cause its going to go on TV and people will see it. NO pressure. I'm in 'Jane Austen's Emma' with the TEACH group right now. It's going.. terribly. We have three rehearsals left and we haven't even gone through the whole first act, and we've only done a couple (two) scenes in the second act. I have to learn all my lines for the second act this week because Mrs. Directer dropped the 'off script' bomb on us with a week to spare... NO ONE knows the second act. What shall we do?!?!
And yeah, we're going to be on TV.

You might ask what I've been doing the past two months (three months?) and I say this. If your reading my blog your probably one of my friends, you probably have talked to me sometime in the past two months, you probably KNOW what I've been doing for the past two months. So yeah, I don't think I'll write about it.

Sean gave Anna a gameboy last week.. and err well.. that is to say... I've been playing a lot. Kirby is adorable, he EATS people, how is that not the cutest thing you've ever heard?? It just makes me want to break out in awwwww's when he consumes his latest victim bwahahahaha.

Oh! I discovered I have difficulty speaking the english language. I mangle things without knowing it, and no one actually tells me.. so I keep saying embarrassing things without knowing it. Do you realize how awful that is?

Fall For You - Secondhand Serenade (Jimmy and I's song)

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before?
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you's impossible to find
You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start

Oh, but hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you's impossible to find
It's impossible

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in, I'm yours to keep
And hold on to your words 'cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight when you're asleep

Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you's impossible to find

Tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you's impossible to find
You're impossible to find